(I'm originally from Georgia so my friends found this really funny...)
You Might be a Redneck Pagan If...
1. Your Ceremonial Garb consist of cuttoffs and a tube top. . .
2. You think "Family Tradition" is a dating club. . .
3. You havereached 3rd degree, but not 3rd grade. . .
4. Your coven's secret names for the God and Goddess "Cooter" and "SweetCheeks". . .
5. Your ceremonial Chalice says "Budweiser" on it (2 pts if it says"Pabst"). . .
6. You consider chewing tobacco a sacred herb. . .
7. Your circle dance includes the words "dosey-do". . .
8. Your altar pentacle is a photo of John Wayne's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. . .
9. Your coven chose its High Priest at a belching contest. . .
10. Your coven chose its High Priestess at a wet t-shirt contest. . .
11. Your annointing oil says 5W30 on the side. . .
12. You have ever refilled your chalice from a Tap. . .
13. Your outdoor circle has dead washing machines for quarter altars. . .
14. You do your cakes and ale with a can of PBR and Little Debbies. . .
15. Your Pantheon includes Yukon Jack, Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. . .
16. You think the Wiccan Rede is good for making twig furniture. . .
17. You believe that the Pentagram is a Western Union sent to 5 people. . .
18. Your altar cloth says "Dew Drop Inn" or "Motel 6". . .
19. Your Goddess picture say "Miss September" at the bottom. . .
20. Your God statue looks like Elvis Presley. . .
21. You have ever written a spell on the back of a Denny's menu. . .
22. You have ever cancelled a coven meeting to watch WWF on TV. . .
23. You have EVER cast a love spell on livestock. . .
24. You call the God & Goddess by hollerin' "Hey, Y'all! Watch me!" . . .
25. You've ever harvested ritual herbs with a weed wacker. . .
26. Your Wand of Power is a cattle prod. . .
27. Your Bard plays the banjo. . .
28. Your favorite painting of the Goddess gives her hair like Dolly Parton. . .
29. Your Spirit Guide is a hound dog. . .
30. Your broom has four-wheel drive and KY plates. . .
31. Your coven-stead is propped up on cinder blocks. . .
32. Your favorite Great Rite partner is your first, second AND third cousin. . .
33. You can play "The Burning Times" on the banjo. . .
34. Your favorite ritual libation is brewed in a backyard still. . .
35. You sarcifice bbq and pork rinds on a altar made of old oil drums. . .
36. You have a combined Maypole Dance/Tractor Pull/Turkey Shoot for Beltane. . .
37. Part of your rite includes throwing shotgun shells into the fire. . .
38. When your priestess says "Blessed Be" in circle, you respond with "YEEE-HAW!". . .
39. You shoot guns into the air when the priestess says, "The circle is open but unbroken". . .
40. Your high priestess' hair gets caught in the ceiling fan. . .
41. Your most sacred altar items include, a '49 Ford hubcap, a velvet painting of The Goddess infront of a Palm Tree, and a half-empty can of chaw. . .
42. Your altar cloth is a Confederate flag. . .
43. You carry your ritual sword in your pickup's gun rack. . .
44. Your craft name starts with Bubba. . .
45. Your maiden sweeps the circle with a weedwacker. . .
46. You've ever cooked road-kill stew in your cauldron. . .
47. Your cauldron looks a lot like a spitoon. . .
48. You bought your chalice at the Piggly Wiggly and haven't finished the Grape Jelly yet. . .
49. You've ever done a candle spell for your local high-school football team. . .
50. Your neighbor thinks "the Great Rite" has something to do with Jerry Falwell. . .
51. You've ever meditated to Hank Williams. . .
52. You leave beef jerky out for Samhain. . .
53. Your circle dance is a two step. . .
54. Your familiar can point quail. . .
55. Your familiar keeps mice out of the barn. . .
56. The bell on your altar was ever worn by an animal in a pasture . . .
57. Your altar has a spit cup. . .
58. Any part of your invokation of the South Quarter includes any line from any song by LynardSkynard. . .
59. Your athame is by Bowie. . .
60. You smoke Salem cigarettes for the historical significance. . .
Well then you might just be a Redneck Pagan!
You Might be a Redneck Pagan If...
1. Your Ceremonial Garb consist of cuttoffs and a tube top. . .
2. You think "Family Tradition" is a dating club. . .
3. You havereached 3rd degree, but not 3rd grade. . .
4. Your coven's secret names for the God and Goddess "Cooter" and "SweetCheeks". . .
5. Your ceremonial Chalice says "Budweiser" on it (2 pts if it says"Pabst"). . .
6. You consider chewing tobacco a sacred herb. . .
7. Your circle dance includes the words "dosey-do". . .
8. Your altar pentacle is a photo of John Wayne's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. . .
9. Your coven chose its High Priest at a belching contest. . .
10. Your coven chose its High Priestess at a wet t-shirt contest. . .
11. Your annointing oil says 5W30 on the side. . .
12. You have ever refilled your chalice from a Tap. . .
13. Your outdoor circle has dead washing machines for quarter altars. . .
14. You do your cakes and ale with a can of PBR and Little Debbies. . .
15. Your Pantheon includes Yukon Jack, Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. . .
16. You think the Wiccan Rede is good for making twig furniture. . .
17. You believe that the Pentagram is a Western Union sent to 5 people. . .
18. Your altar cloth says "Dew Drop Inn" or "Motel 6". . .
19. Your Goddess picture say "Miss September" at the bottom. . .
20. Your God statue looks like Elvis Presley. . .
21. You have ever written a spell on the back of a Denny's menu. . .
22. You have ever cancelled a coven meeting to watch WWF on TV. . .
23. You have EVER cast a love spell on livestock. . .
24. You call the God & Goddess by hollerin' "Hey, Y'all! Watch me!" . . .
25. You've ever harvested ritual herbs with a weed wacker. . .
26. Your Wand of Power is a cattle prod. . .
27. Your Bard plays the banjo. . .
28. Your favorite painting of the Goddess gives her hair like Dolly Parton. . .
29. Your Spirit Guide is a hound dog. . .
30. Your broom has four-wheel drive and KY plates. . .
31. Your coven-stead is propped up on cinder blocks. . .
32. Your favorite Great Rite partner is your first, second AND third cousin. . .
33. You can play "The Burning Times" on the banjo. . .
34. Your favorite ritual libation is brewed in a backyard still. . .
35. You sarcifice bbq and pork rinds on a altar made of old oil drums. . .
36. You have a combined Maypole Dance/Tractor Pull/Turkey Shoot for Beltane. . .
37. Part of your rite includes throwing shotgun shells into the fire. . .
38. When your priestess says "Blessed Be" in circle, you respond with "YEEE-HAW!". . .
39. You shoot guns into the air when the priestess says, "The circle is open but unbroken". . .
40. Your high priestess' hair gets caught in the ceiling fan. . .
41. Your most sacred altar items include, a '49 Ford hubcap, a velvet painting of The Goddess infront of a Palm Tree, and a half-empty can of chaw. . .
42. Your altar cloth is a Confederate flag. . .
43. You carry your ritual sword in your pickup's gun rack. . .
44. Your craft name starts with Bubba. . .
45. Your maiden sweeps the circle with a weedwacker. . .
46. You've ever cooked road-kill stew in your cauldron. . .
47. Your cauldron looks a lot like a spitoon. . .
48. You bought your chalice at the Piggly Wiggly and haven't finished the Grape Jelly yet. . .
49. You've ever done a candle spell for your local high-school football team. . .
50. Your neighbor thinks "the Great Rite" has something to do with Jerry Falwell. . .
51. You've ever meditated to Hank Williams. . .
52. You leave beef jerky out for Samhain. . .
53. Your circle dance is a two step. . .
54. Your familiar can point quail. . .
55. Your familiar keeps mice out of the barn. . .
56. The bell on your altar was ever worn by an animal in a pasture . . .
57. Your altar has a spit cup. . .
58. Any part of your invokation of the South Quarter includes any line from any song by LynardSkynard. . .
59. Your athame is by Bowie. . .
60. You smoke Salem cigarettes for the historical significance. . .
Well then you might just be a Redneck Pagan!
2 comments:
OMG! That is TOO funny, thank you!
i really loved your descriptions in the paragraph but i came on this website to find a list of specific types of blue potions
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